The Non-Religious Funeral Program: A Practical Guide

A funeral without religion can be every bit as moving, structured and dignified as one held in a place of worship. Many people now choose a secular or humanist funeral because it reflects how they lived. Others choose one because the family holds a mix of beliefs and wants a service in which everyone feels equally at home. Whatever the reason, the family often faces a specific challenge: with no liturgy to follow, there is no ready-made structure, and the program has to be built from scratch.

This guide gives you that structure. It explains the typical shape of a non-religious funeral, offers sample orders of service of different lengths, suggests readings and music that do not rely on religious belief, and shows how to word each page of the program. It also covers how to include a moment for those who do want to pray, without making the service religious.

What makes a funeral "non-religious"

A non-religious funeral is simply one that does not include worship, prayers or religious readings as part of the formal service. It usually focuses on:

• The life of the person: who they were, what they did, what they loved
• The relationships they had: family, friends, colleagues, community
• The feelings of those left behind: grief, gratitude, love, sometimes laughter
• A farewell: a formal moment of saying goodbye

A humanist funeral is a particular kind of non-religious funeral, led by a celebrant trained by a humanist organization, which reflects a humanist outlook: that this life is the one life we have, and that meaning comes from the people and experiences in it. A civil funeral is led by a civil or independent celebrant and is non-religious by default, though it can include a hymn or prayer if the family wishes. A family can also lead a service entirely themselves, with a friend acting as host.

The program can follow the same principles in all three cases.

Who leads the service

The person leading the service is usually a celebrant – a professional who meets the family, learns about the person, writes the service, and leads it on the day. Celebrants are common in the UK, Ireland, Australia and New Zealand and increasingly common in North America. Funeral directors can recommend one.

Alternatively, a family member or close friend can act as host or master of ceremonies. This works especially well for smaller services or celebrations of life held in a home, a garden, a hall or a favourite restaurant.

In the program, list the celebrant or host by name, for example "Led by Sarah Collins, celebrant" or "Hosted by Tom Bradley, nephew."

The shape of a non-religious funeral

Most non-religious funerals follow a recognisable structure, even though nothing requires them to. The structure exists because it works: it moves the people in the room from arrival, through remembering, to farewell and departure.

1. Entrance music as the coffin is carried in, or as guests are seated
2. Welcome and introduction from the celebrant or host: why we are here, what kind of service this is
3. Words about life and death: a short reflection, often secular in outlook, acknowledging grief and the value of a life
4. A reading or poem
5. The tribute or eulogy: the life story, often read by the celebrant from information the family provided
6. Personal tributes: family members or friends sharing memories
7. Music for reflection: a piece played while people sit quietly and think about the person, sometimes with a slideshow of photographs
8. A moment of quiet reflection: in which those with faith can pray privately if they wish
9. Another reading or poem
10. The committal or farewell: the formal goodbye, which at a crematorium may include closing the curtains or lowering the coffin
11. Closing words and thanks: practical information about the reception and donations
12. Exit music

A crematorium service in the UK is often limited to a fixed time slot, so the celebrant will help trim this to fit. A celebration of life in a hall can be longer and looser.

Sample orders of service

A 30-minute crematorium service

Entrance music – "Clair de Lune," Debussy

Welcome – Sarah Collins, celebrant

Reading – "Remember," Christina Rossetti – read by Emma Hughes, granddaughter

Tribute to David – Sarah Collins

Memories of Dad – Michael Hughes, son

Reflection – "Here Comes the Sun," The Beatles, with photographs

Moment of quiet reflection

Committal

Closing words

Exit music – "What a Wonderful World," Louis Armstrong

A 45-minute service at a funeral home or hall

Music as guests arrive – a playlist of Mum's favourite songs

Welcome and introduction – Tom Bradley, nephew

Reading – "Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep" – read by Laura Bradley

Her Life – the family's tribute, read by Tom Bradley

Memories from friends – Joan Patel; Mark Reynolds

Music for reflection – "Fields of Gold," Eva Cassidy

A few words from her grandchildren

Moment of quiet reflection

Reading – an extract from "On Death," Kahlil Gibran

Words of farewell

Thanks and invitation to the reception

Closing music – "Somewhere Over the Rainbow / What a Wonderful World," Israel Kamakawiwo'ole

A short graveside or woodland burial

Gathering

Welcome

Reading – "Crossing the Bar," Alfred, Lord Tennyson

A few words about Peter

Moment of quiet reflection

Committal – flowers and soil may be placed by those who wish

Closing words

Readings that are not religious

Choosing readings is often the part families find hardest. Here are widely used readings that do not rely on religious belief. Some are old enough to be in the public domain and can be printed freely; others are more recent and still under copyright, in which case print the title and author and let the reader read from their own copy, or check permissions before printing in full.

Poems and passages often read at secular funerals

• "Remember" – Christina Rossetti (public domain)
• "Crossing the Bar" – Alfred, Lord Tennyson (public domain)
• "Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep" – widely attributed to Mary Elizabeth Frye
• "Death Is Nothing at All" – Henry Scott Holland (public domain; written by a clergyman but widely used at secular services, as it contains no explicitly religious lines)
• "Funeral Blues" ("Stop all the clocks") – W. H. Auden (under copyright)
• "She Is Gone (He Is Gone)" – David Harkins (under copyright)
• "The Ship" or "Gone from My Sight" – commonly attributed to Henry Van Dyke or Luther Beecher
• "On Death," from *The Prophet* – Kahlil Gibran
• "Miss Me, But Let Me Go" – author unknown
• "When Great Trees Fall" – Maya Angelou (under copyright)
• "Wild Geese" or "When Death Comes" – Mary Oliver (under copyright)
• "Song of Myself" (extracts) – Walt Whitman (public domain)
• Extracts from letters, diaries or the person's own writing

More options, with notes on length and printing, are in our article on funeral poems for programs.

Readings that reflect the person

Some of the most moving secular readings are not poems at all:

• A passage from a favourite novel
• Song lyrics read as words rather than sung (check permissions before printing)
• A letter they wrote to a grandchild
• A short extract from a speech they gave at a retirement or a wedding
• Words from a scientist, explorer or writer they admired

Music

Music sets the emotional tone of a non-religious funeral more than anything else, because it takes the place that hymns often fill. Families typically choose:

• Entrance music: something calm or meaningful as people take their seats
• Reflection music: a piece played in full while people think, often accompanied by a photo slideshow
• Exit music: often more uplifting – a favourite song that sends people out with a smile

In the program, list each piece with title and performer. If a piece has a story ("the song Mum and Dad danced to at their wedding"), a short line under the title is a lovely touch.

The moment of quiet reflection

Nearly every non-religious service includes a short silence. It does two jobs: it gives everyone a moment to remember the person in their own way, and it allows those with religious faith to pray privately. Celebrants often introduce it with words like:

"We'll now have a moment of quiet. Those of you with a religious faith may wish to use this time for a private prayer. Everyone else, please take this moment to think about David in your own way – a memory, a conversation, something he taught you."

In the program, list it simply as "Moment of quiet reflection." This one line is often what makes a secular service comfortable for religious relatives.

Giving the celebrant what they need

If a celebrant is leading the service, they will usually meet or call the family to gather material for the tribute. The more specific the material, the more the tribute will sound like the person rather than a generic farewell. Before the meeting, it helps to jot down:

• The basic timeline: where and when they were born, school, work, moves, marriage or partnership, children, retirement
• Three or four stories that people always tell about them
• Their sayings and phrases – the things everyone will recognise
• What they were proud of, and what they were famously bad at
• The people who mattered most, with names spelled correctly
• Anything that should not be mentioned – a divorce, an estrangement, an illness the family would rather not discuss

The celebrant will usually send the family a draft of the service to approve. Use that draft to build the order of service in the program, so the printed version matches what will be said. If personal tributes are being read by family members, ask for a rough length so the celebrant can keep the service within its time slot.

Symbolic gestures and rituals

Without religious rites, many families add a small, symbolic act that gives guests something to do with their grief. These often appear in the order of service, with a line explaining what will happen:

• Lighting candles. Family members or guests light a candle in turn while music plays.
• Placing flowers. Guests place a single flower on the coffin or in a vase as they leave.
• A memory tree or memory jar. Guests write a memory on a card and hang it on a branch or place it in a jar for the family to keep.
• A toast. At a less formal celebration, the host invites everyone to raise a glass.
• Sharing a favourite object. A musical instrument, a hat, a fishing rod or a well-loved book placed by the photo.
• A minute of applause. For someone who lived a very public or performing life, applause can be a fitting farewell.

If you include a ritual, add one practical line to the program – "As you leave, please take a seed packet from the table by the door and plant it in Margaret's memory" – so people know what to do without feeling awkward.

Laying out the program

Cover

• A heading such as "In Memory of," "Celebrating the Life of," "A Celebration of," "Remembering," or simply the name on its own
• A photo
• Name and dates
• Date, time and venue

Avoid religious symbols such as crosses or doves if you want the design to feel neutral; botanical, landscape, ocean or plain designs work well. Our Sage Garden, Ocean Calm, Simple Modern, Midnight Stars and Celebration Sunset themes are all free of religious imagery.

Inside left

The life story. Non-religious services put particular weight on the life story, so give it room. See how to write an obituary for a parent for structure.

Inside right

The order of service, as in the examples above.

Back

• A poem or quotation
• The committal or interment details
• Reception details
• Donations in lieu of flowers
• A family thank-you

Wording examples

Cover headings

• "Celebrating the Life of Margaret Ellen Hughes"
• "Remembering David Hughes"
• "A Life Well Lived – Peter James Walsh"
• "In Loving Memory of Joan Patel"
• "Always in Our Hearts – Michael Reynolds"

Opening line for the life story

• "Margaret was born in Leeds in 1946, the youngest of four, and spent the rest of her life making up for being the smallest."
• "If you knew David, you knew his garden – and you probably left with a bag of tomatoes."

Closing lines for the back page

• "Thank you for being here to celebrate Joan with us."
• "Please join us afterwards at The Old Mill for food, drinks and more stories."
• "If you would like to, please leave a memory of Peter in the book by the door."
• "Donations in Margaret's memory may be made to the local hospice."

Committal wording for a crematorium

• "Committal" or "Words of farewell"
• "The family will gather privately for the interment of ashes at a later date."

Including families of mixed beliefs

Many families include both people of faith and people without it. A non-religious service does not need to exclude anyone, and a religious one does not need to exclude non-believers. For a non-religious service that welcomes everyone:

• Include the moment of quiet reflection, and mention that it can be used for prayer
• Consider letting a religious relative read a poem that is meaningful to them but not explicitly religious
• Some celebrants will include a single hymn or prayer if the family asks; this makes it a "civil" rather than strictly humanist service – discuss it with the celebrant
• Keep the language of the program neutral: "remembering," "celebrating," "farewell" rather than "rest in peace" or "eternal rest"

Common mistakes in non-religious programs

• Leaving out structure altogether. Even a relaxed celebration benefits from a clear order of events. Guests feel more at ease when they know what is happening.
• Forgetting the committal or farewell. Without a formal goodbye, a service can end abruptly. Include a clear closing moment.
• Using religious imagery out of habit. Many templates default to crosses and doves; choose a neutral design if that suits the person.
• Too many speakers. Without a fixed liturgy, it is easy to say yes to everyone who wants to speak. Agree on a number and suggest a time for each.
• Printing copyrighted lyrics or poems without permission. Print title and author and let the reader read from their own copy.

Frequently asked questions

What do you say at a non-religious funeral instead of prayers?

A celebrant usually offers words about the meaning of a life, the love shared, and the grief felt, followed by a moment of quiet reflection in which people can think, remember or pray privately.

Can a non-religious funeral be held in a church?

Some churches allow non-religious services, but most are held at crematoria, funeral homes, community halls, hotels, gardens or natural burial grounds.

Is a celebration of life the same as a non-religious funeral?

Not exactly. A celebration of life can be religious or not; it tends to be more informal and joyful. Many non-religious funerals are also celebrations of life. See our celebration of life program page and our guide to celebration of life program wording.

What should be on the cover of a secular funeral program?

The name, dates, a photo, and the date, time and place of the service, with a heading such as "Celebrating the Life of" or "In Memory of."

Make it your own

The best non-religious programs read like the person: their humour, their passions, their way of being. Start with a neutral theme in our funeral program maker, fill in the order of service with your celebrant's plan, and share the free preview with the family before printing. When it is right, the print-ready files are $4.99 – see pricing. In the UK, see our UK order of service guide for crematorium timings and A5 printing.